My Dog's Utility Function

Conversations with Tyler is probably my all-time favorite podcast. Tyler usually ends episodes with a "What is your production function?". It's a great question and something I've often thought about.

We adopted our dog L four years ago - a negative NPV decision but one of the best decision we've ever made. I have realized she has remarkably consistent preferences, and is clearly always optimizing for something specific. This is an attempt at capturing her utility function, given she doesn't produce anything.

Playing ball outdoors > playing ball indoors > playing with other dogs > not playing
Her Chuck-It ball > any Chuck-It ball > any other ball > sticks >>>> balls with poop

She clearly has some intuition of what is hers vs not. Wonder what her conception of property rights is (probably like Stalin: "all balls are already either mine, or should be mine")

Meat treats > rotis > kibble with cheese + peanut butter on top > kibble with cheese > kibble with cheese underneath > kibble with peanut butter > kibble
Ball in mouth > food in mouth with ball nearby > food in mouth with no ball in sight
[Daytime] Sleeping on sofa > sleeping on our bed > sleeping on her dog-bed > sleeping on a carpet >>> sleeping on the wooden floor
[After sundown] Sleeping in crate > sleeping on sofa > sleeping on her dog-bed >>> not sleeping at all

She has a clear circadian rhythm that is largely similar to humans'.

Resting on a familiar well-endowed human thigh > resting on an unfamiliar well-endowed human thigh > resting on a sofa with no thigh nearby > resting on a bony thigh, regardless of familiarity
Pooping on grass > pooping by the curb > pooping on a NYC grate > pooping in the middle of a sidewalk >>>> pooping indoors (usually our fault)
[When needs to pee and poo] Poop first and then pee > pee first and then poop

This was not intuitive.

Will keep adding to this list.